Letting Go of the Job for God
Have you ever waited for that one opportunity to prove yourself? Well. . .After two years of applying for a job in the journalism and news industry, I finally received an offer.
I would become the new production assistant at WLWT News 5 in Cincinnati, OH!!!!
The time had finally come where it was my turn to land the job and I could prove that I was worth the risk as a new hire. At least. . . I thought I was my time. . . until the Lord lead me to decline.
Yeah, you read that correctly. I did NOT take the job and trust me, I probably know what you’re thinking. . .
What?!?! They said. . .
Why???? They said. . .
What is wrong with you??? They asked. . .
For those who know me personally, they know how much I love reporting, hearing people’s stories, and spreading good news. I love talking to people about their lives, motivating anyone who feels down, and sending an encouraging word to any and everyone I meet. I have a passion for storytelling and I find myself unintentionally having “deep” conversations with strangers on a daily basis about their life and how they came to be who they are today. It’s really not in my control; it just happens, and I enjoy it.
That’s how I knew that reporting and storytelling are not only my passions, but my purpose.
But before I tell you why I declined the offer; lets rewind back to how this offer came about. . .
Months ago, I met a man at a hotel who just so happens to be a producer for the Today show in New York. We ended up talking for hours and he advised me on all of the many ways to thrive in the Journalism field as well as how to land that first job. He told me his story and what he looks for in a new hire and he even connected me with the managing editor at one of the local stations here in Cincinnati, OH. You could imagine my excitement. My only problem was, I really didn’t know if I wanted to pursue news anymore. About a month before graduation my desire for reporting disappeared and I realized that not only do I not like bad news, I didn’t want to be a reporter who covered bad news which is the one thing I thought I’d spend my life doing. It all changed after one story I covered during my senior year about a college student who died from drowning because no one bothered to call authorities. According to reports, there were witnesses to the death, but because alcohol consumption was involved and fear of punishment from police was a factor, no one chose to call for help. The young man’s body was found in the water a couple of days later. I, being the journalist that I was, went out to investigate and cover this story, but I had no idea what I was really getting myself into. I interviewed the boy’s parents, his best friends, his colleagues, his sister, police. I listened to them tell me his story, and the places he loved to be; in particular a Chinese restaurant every Friday. I learned everything about him; his fears, his funniest moments and even his lifelong dream. I laughed and cried with his family, only to return to a desk and find a way to visually tell a non-bias, yet truthful story. I had dreams of him for weeks and prayed for his family daily. I even went for Chinese at his favorite restaurant on a Friday and cried in memory of him. There was no relation and no personal connection to him, just strong emotions stemmed from stories that I collected from those who loved him. Yet, my heart was broken that he was gone. This is when I realized how much of am impact bad news can have on my spirit.
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart; good news makes for good health.
–Proverbs 15:30
After his death, everything I watched in the news brought tears to my eyes. I continued to ask myself, how I would ever be able to cover another death. I cant stop death, it’s everywhere, and with everything that’s happening in our world today, I feel as though every nightly newscast leads with tragedy. I didn’t like bad news back then and I was months away from graduation and becoming a journalist that covered the news. Now that you understand the struggle I battled back then, we’re now two years post grad and I’m finally making connections with someone in my field.
Any who… The producer and I meet at a hotel, exchange information, I meet with his contacts, and immediately I am desired for employment. The only dilemma this time is that there were no positions available at the local station. They mentioned that if anything opened up they would give me a call and about three months later, I received the call with a job offer. You’re all caught up now, so let’s get back to why I declined the offer.
Immediately, I accepted the job not thinking twice. I mean who wouldn’t accept it. I was given a start date two weeks from my acceptance date and within that two weeks of time the Lord began to speak. I wanted the dream: the lights, the cameras, and the glam of news. However, God wanted the truth: both spiritually and emotionally. I had to really think through things and in the end my true heart was revealed. Emotionally, I don’t like bad news and I personally can not handle it. This isn’t to say that someone else isn’t meant for news, but spiritually, it weakens my spirit and fills me with fear. The Bible says to “think on things that are good and worthy of praise”.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. –Philippians 4:8 NLT
Voluntarily walking into a career that I know would lead me to compromise and go against what I believe is right in my heart, and on top of that leave me drained spiritually was just not something the Lord wanted for me; nor was it excellent and worthy of praise. However, I was stubborn and wanted to lean on my own understanding and go against God’s will and do it anyway. I just knew that that job offer was “my big break”, but as my start date approached, God kept saying to me,
“Micayla, this position isn’t for you.”
I cried, asking the Lord to give it to me anyway. I begged him to give me a desire for bad news just so I could try the job and decide if it was for me or not. I even went as far as saying that I don’t care if I’m miserable if it gives me what I want. I was being foolish, and as foolish as it sounds, I was almost okay with being unhappy just so I could do what I wanted to do. As the Lord continued to work in me, my husband began to intercede and pray on my behalf. As I became depressed and upset with God, I witnessed my Husband assisting the Lord and fighting the spiritual battle that consumed me. I was weak, and ready to give up, but God wasn’t finished with me yet.
It was time that I let go of my way and accepted and trusted that his plan for my life is better than my own.
In my eyes, the job at the station was a dream come true, but once the Lord showed me the job through his eyes, I realized why he told me to wait. Being only part time, the hours I would work would be from 3am-10am, which would require me to keep my full time job in order to help provide for my household. This would only leave me with 4 hours a day to eat, sleep, and be a wife which meant that prioritization would be key. However, the day I married is the day I made a promise to God that my relationship with Him would come first, then my relationship with my husband, and then everything else. Since this job would not allow me to hold true to my promise, I knew deep down that it was not in God’s plan for me at this time. It may be later on, but for now. . .
He really was saying NO.
I honestly believe that one day the Lord will use me to report the good news and tell stories, and I will truly step into my purpose. He knows the desires of my heart just like I know that He has another opportunity that He designed specifically for me. I just have to be patient and wait for the Lord to move.
I had to learn how to silence the voices of others, be completely honest with myself, and hear from the Lord.
This was not at all an easy task because I wanted my way. I cried, I prayed, I begged, I disobeyed, but in the end I accepted that God’s will is greater than my own. I thank the Lord for blessing me with a praying husband who spiritually fights for me and for the Lord himself for never giving up on me. The day I removed my pride and embarrassingly rescinded my acceptance toward the job offer at Channel 5 is the same day I received a promotion at my current job in which I not only get to keep my full time status, but I receive more money and get to do work that honestly brings me joy. God works on his own timing in wondrous and mysterious ways. I may not know what he has planned for me next, but I will trust in Him with all of my heart and not lean on my own understanding. I know that His plans for me will exceed anything and everything I can ever imagine. Please pray for me as I pray for guidance. From this day forward I choose to walk by faith and not by sight, In the will of God, everyday, for the rest of my life. I love you and I’m praying that the Lord reveals his Will in your life.
With love,
-M
